tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3270245506969727628.post4636350445120977874..comments2024-03-27T06:51:19.327-06:00Comments on The Rains Came Down: What Do I Do About Abuse in Others? . . . A Resurrected EmailSilverRainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00580230961425635077noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3270245506969727628.post-35210340178702872962011-02-04T00:15:48.011-07:002011-02-04T00:15:48.011-07:00I agree that abuse is not ok, and that if a person...I agree that abuse is not ok, and that if a person (woman or man) finds themselves in an abusive relationship, and it is evident that nothing is going to change, it is time to get out. I know a lot of women who are in this situation who are afraid to leave, that there is no way they can make it on their own. However, I have seen many women (sorry don't know any men who have had to leave an Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05957358850375701366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3270245506969727628.post-1720789648228563672011-01-27T07:37:09.485-07:002011-01-27T07:37:09.485-07:00Thanks, Jen. That is a great way to explain it.Thanks, Jen. That is a great way to explain it.SilverRainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00580230961425635077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3270245506969727628.post-45607383790192770612011-01-26T14:48:09.923-07:002011-01-26T14:48:09.923-07:00Wow! Excellent advice. And beautiful thoughts. I C...Wow! Excellent advice. And beautiful thoughts. I COMPLETELY agree with Marianne, its important for children to see its okay to leave, and that abuse is not okay...<br /><br />I also believe that once a relationship has crossed into abuse, you have to get out. I suppose with a lot of help, you could choose to go back, but... BOTH people have to change a lot. BOTH people have to decide that abuse jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07609613967033394629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3270245506969727628.post-12813692016319978902011-01-19T15:42:21.462-07:002011-01-19T15:42:21.462-07:00Silver Rain, you're right that "working t...Silver Rain, you're right that "working things out" is sometimes code for continuing an abuser-victim relationship -- but not always -- this is part of the reason these are difficult matters -- another reason is that there is no universally-accepted ironclad definition of abuse or the thresholds where certain actions in response are appropriate. But when it really is abuse, and thejinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3270245506969727628.post-26486615420365785942011-01-18T07:12:42.294-07:002011-01-18T07:12:42.294-07:00JI—In cases of abuse, I don't think there usua...JI—In cases of abuse, I don't think there usually is a way to work things out. "Working things out" is often a code word used by abusers to make their victims comply.<br /><br />The only hope for abusive relationships is for the abuser to fix themselves first.SilverRainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00580230961425635077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3270245506969727628.post-79715011854285012472011-01-16T11:11:01.502-07:002011-01-16T11:11:01.502-07:00These are difficult topics. While there is someti...These are difficult topics. While there is sometimes a real need to walk away to protect oneself form harm, there is also sometimes a real need to work things out. In making this sort of decision, a person needs the inspiration of his or her God and the support of his or her neighbor -- these are hard decisions.jinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3270245506969727628.post-10152756639660785112011-01-16T08:34:54.674-07:002011-01-16T08:34:54.674-07:00I would like to add that leaving an abusive relati...I would like to add that leaving an abusive relationship is important for our sons (maybe you didn't have sons.) I felt that just as staying taught my daughters that abuse is okay - my sons would get the same message.Mariannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15776582123068263410noreply@blogger.com