Polygamy: Count Me as One Who Believes

An unrelated topic at T&S spun into an argument about polygamy. Quite a bit of vitriol was spit out at the concept of polygamy and those women who defend it. Although comments were closed shortly thereafter, and despite the probability of being attacked therefore, I still feel a need to testify to the divine origin of polygamy. Polygamy is perhaps one of the most misunderstood and confusing topics in the Gospel. It is also, unfortunately, one that many people get hung up on. The first disclaimer: This post contains my own feelings and opinions and understanding, and is not the doctrine of the Church. As such, I could be completely off-base. For Church doctrine, please visit: lds.org.

As another disclaimer, I will say that I am not a polygamist, nor do I have any expectation of becoming one in this life. I do not agree with the current practice of polygamy, and believe that if I were to live that law right now, I would sin. I am not affiliated with any religion or group that practices polygamy, nor do I even know or discourse with those who are. I believe in the eternal law of polygamy, not in the manner in which it is currently practiced.

Also as a preface, I will say that there were many problems with the practice of polygamy in the past history of the Church. Lines were not cleanly drawn, and the practice of polygamy then was probably not perfectly done. Like many of the doctrines of the Church (baptism for the dead being an obvious example), polygamy had its moments of misunderstanding and imperfect practice. The Lord in His infinite wisdom does not seem to concern himself with the foibles and honest mistakes of those who follow him in this matter as He does not in others, and I do not see fit to do other than follow His lead.

Certain aspects of my testimony are sacred, and I will not share them here, in a public forum. Discussion of such things is better suited to a face-to-face conversation, where the Spirit can attend and testify. Like so many other spiritual things, polygamy cannot be understood out of the context of the Spirit. I don't make a big deal about my testimony regarding polygamy, because it really doesn't apply to our current lives on this earth. But I do want to take the chance now to stand up and say that polygamy is neither evil nor degrading. Rather, it is uplifting and spiritual despite the difficulties inherent in living it.

Unlike many in and out of the Church, I never felt that the doctrine of polygamy was hidden from me. Although I did not learn about it until later in my childhood, I can't really point to a specific time I did learn of it. I still have yet to know everything about polygamy, though I know a good deal more than some. Like with anything else in the Church, upon learning of this principle, I did as I was taught to do: while researching the question, I asked God continually whether or not it was a true and eternal principle.

My answer did not come all at once, in a blinding flash of Spiritual enlightenment. Rather, it came gradually as I gradually learned the pieces of the doctrine. Reading the historical context brought understanding. Examining individual circumstances brought empathy for those who were presented this choice. I often asked myself how I would choose, were I presented with the same choice.

Eventually, I came to realize both before and after my actual marriage that I was prepared to live this principle, should I be asked to do so. Interestingly, it was always with the feeling of how I would accept my husband's theoretical subsequent wives. My conviction grew under no illusions of the difficulty of actually following it. Would it hurt if the Lord asked me to give up the exclusivity of my marriage with my husband? Undoubtedly. Would I be willing to do it? Without question.

Along with my conviction and my reading of history also grew the understanding that, although this is an eternal principle, it is not necessarily a universal one. Not every man would necessarily be asked or required to marry more than one wife. Not every woman would be asked to sacrifice the exclusivity of her relationship with her husband. But I knew that should I be one, I could do so with peace in my heart. It was—and is—an empowering realization.

It wasn't until later that I began to understand some small part of the beauty and the power of this principle. As I have come to face the possibility that I will not be in an eternal relationship while on this earth, I have come to see what a mercy it is to know that my exaltation will not be dependent on anything but my own, personal worthiness. There is plenty of opportunity to form such a bond in eternity, should I not be so blessed while here.

Exaltation is impossible for anyone alone. Not only is it necessary for Christ to redeem us, it is necessary that we be welded to another. We are not whole, alone. This does not mean our agency will ever be removed. We will never be forced to marry someone we do not choose to marry. Like any other law of heaven, we will only need follow those laws we choose to follow, and we will be blessed according to those laws we follow. We will also not be forced to allow our husband to marry another against our will. It will be discerned by God according to His laws and covenants, and His counsel and judgments will be true, right and comfortable for each of his children.

Despite the many voices raised against polygamy, I know it is a true and living principle, although I may not entirely understand it. It is a principle of mercy, compassion and Godly love. I recognize that not all will understand polygamy as I do, but this I have come to know: that it is of God, and as such, it is glorious and beautiful.