A Rant Against Judicial Fashion Sense

There are few things that have infuriated me as much as what I have heard about the California judicial system's high-handed attempt to justify legalization of gay marriage while blocking the logical follow-through of legal consensual adult polygamous marriage. How can they possibly dupe themselves into believing that such an arbitrary line is just and impartial? Like the old correlation of homosexuality and child molestation, I especially "love" how they lumped it in with incest, as if the two are at all the same kettle of fish. I think it's a big kettle of rosy red herring.

The only explanation I can think for the calumny is that being pro-gay is in vogue, but pro-polygamy is not. I'm not looking to add a wife to my husband's family, but this whole situation is so utterly illogical I'm completely floored and disgusted.

Perhaps the warnings from God through the Church against danger of gay marriage legalization is only partially about gay marriage itself and even more insidiously about the corruption of the government. As the judicial system overthrows majority vote and lose whatever pretense of impartiality they had, I can see some very bad things coming down the sump pipe in the not-so-far future.

So, fire up the rainbow flag and drape it across your sequined dress and pumps because that is Politically Correct, but prepare to be burned at the stake covered in verbal waste if you show the least bit of sympathy towards something less trendy.

Scientist and Believer

There has been a flurry of conversations about the DNA "proof" that the Native Americans are not descended from Israelites, and how this "proves" that the BoM is not true or is, at best, inspired fiction. I don't think it proves anything of the sort. I don't want to write exhaustively on my entire process of faith development, unless someone really wants to hear it, but I will sum-up.

We are taught that the Lord does not do things the way a man would do them, any more than a child would eat her vegetables first if left to her own devices. God works in ways that are mysteries to us, but I know that He is loving, true and just, and that He has my eternal interests at heart. Since I do not understand what is best for me the way He does, I am willing to submit to His will and His teachings. Part of those teachings includes how to find truth. I believe that spiritual confirmation has much more to do with truth than with fact. It is intended to guide me back to Him. This is the believing part of me.

We are also taught that the doctrines of men easily creep into spiritual teachings. If you substitute "science" (a reasonable substitution for "precepts of man"), you can read: "For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have. Cursed is he that putteth his trust in man, or maketh flesh his arm, or shall hearken unto science, save their science shall be given by the power of the Holy Ghost."

Here we are given a way to parse spiritual knowledge from scientific knowledge. Science, to me, is a way for man to find out about the world around him. It is not meant to replace faith. Science deals in Fact, religion deals in Truth. Most people, excepting most of the scientific geniuses, seem unable to differentiate between the two.

If the Facts don't seem to fit my knowledge of the Truth, it is because I don't have enough facts or am not understanding them properly. This may seem counterintuitive and even obstructive to a scientific method (which is why I don't use it when I'm actually performing scientific experiments), but in reality it is highly intuitive. Just like an investigator finds facts and often interprets them correctly through a "gut feeling", evidences like DNA only serve to show me there is more to the story than the Book of Mormon covers. That isn't surprising, considering it abridges over 1000 years of history and leaves out everything in the 1600 years after that. It helps to put it all into perspective when you consider the USA is only about 250 years old. Try abridging all of our salient history into a book as small as the Book of Mormon, and I'm sure you'd miss a few things, too. The Book of Mormon is not concerned with proving its factual veracity. At the risk of sounding rude, I think those who try are wasting their time. Especially when the title page itself states its purpose as "to show unto the remnant of the House of Israel what great things the Lord hath done for their fathers; and that they may know the covenants of the Lord, that they are not cast off forever—And also to the convincing of the Jew and Gentile that Jesus is the Christ, the Eternal God, manifesting himself unto all nations", not to "convincing the Jew and Gentile that Mormons are not insane and really know more than anyone else about history."

I personally feel that the Lamanites—indeed, most if not all of us—are "remnants of the house of Israel". I think their DNA is seeded throughout the world. That is why there was a scattering. It has to do with the Lord tying the whole of humankind together physically as well as spiritually through Adam and Abraham. The mere lack of definitive genetic marker doesn't change that one iota.

Lack of proof proves nothing, even according to scientific method it only indicates more study is needed. Assuming the reality of Israelite blood in Native American history doesn't mean we are able to genetically trace it. There are just too many variables. With what I understand about DNA marker tracing, we don't know nearly as much about it as we'd like to think. DNA doesn't even prove direct paternity/maternity 100% of the time, let alone a few generations back. Skepticism of scientific findings is the scientist part of me.

I just don't think we humans are as smart as we'd like to think.

If There Were a God

"If there were a God, there would not be so much suffering." "If there were a God, He would show Himself to me." "If there were a God . . . ." These phrases echo through the history of mankind, sometimes getting louder and more commonly uttered. I find it interesting to note that most of the time, those who feel this way do so in reaction to some perceived injustice.

As I have observed and lived the way the Father deals with me, guiding me carefully through slowly increasing paths of knowledge, I have gained a deep trust in Him and in my Savior. I do not know them as well as I wish, but I know them well enough to trust them. God has said that His entire purpose is to bring us eternal life. There is nothing greater! Although I do not understand all that this entails, I trust Him that it is glorious and wonderful beyond all imaginings. I don't worry about what exactly the Celestial Kingdom will consist of, because I know that if I humble myself to accept in gratitude the offer made to me, I will bask in it, whatever it may be. If I work, I will work in the glory of God and it will be beautiful. If I sing His praises in the choirs of heaven, it will be because my soul cannot contain my joy and gratitude. If I am married to one or to many, it will be in the spirit of perfect love and perfect communion. All that matters to me is to be with Him again, and to help as many of my brothers and sisters enjoy the same.

I am willing to trust Him in how to bring me to Him. If He says I must be baptized to apply forgiveness of Adam's sin, I will do so. If He says I must humble myself and love those I would rather avoid, I will put every effort into doing so. If He says I do not need to hold the Priesthood or anything like it now, than I will serve in the way He has asked me to. If He says I must be patient and allow Him to run His Church through men who also yearn to be with Him, that is fine by me. I have chosen to subdue my will under His will. If I am to be labeled a blind follower, than so be it. All that matters to me is how He feels about me.

I trust Him to guide me in the paths which I most need to follow. I have felt His strength pushing me down paths I would rather not have taken. I have felt His love help me be joyful in walking these paths. I do not need to listen to the "wisdom" of others who rail against the Church and her current doctrines. I feel no need to second guess the Lord.

I trust His ability to work through imperfect vessels, male and female, to bring about perfect purposes because I have felt Him work through me. What utter joy! I wish with all my power that I could share with others what lies down the path of discipleship and beyond the veil of uncertainty, pride and confidence in one's own intelligence. All must find that path in their own way. So, I am left with nothing but pleading and testimony. There is nothing in the philosophies of (wo)man that can compare! Find it. Go just a little further than you think you can. Try just a little harder to trust God. He is there, and He loves.

In the end, I know that if there were a God, He would know better than I what His children need.

Winds of Doctrine Ever Blowing

I have one more observation from the conversation I mentioned previously. As people discuss the ways the doctrine and approach to the gospel have changed, I think it highly possible that such things have changed, but not in the way many are assuming. If deeper doctrines such as the future divinity of man (via King Follett discourse) and the doctrine of polygamy are being deemphasized, it could very well be for the same reasons that the children of Israel received the Aaronic priesthood.

Many seem to make the mistake of assuming because we no longer practice polygamy or emphasize man's chance to become as God is, the Church is admitting to some sort of mistake or previous error. However, the bestowal of the Aaronic priesthood and the ten commandments did not null greater knowledge, only inserted another step on the ladder. Leaders (to my knowledge) haven't come right out and said it, but it is highly possible that people are not ready for those doctrines any more. As a result, our teachings are emphasizing more of the bare bones of exaltation (faith, repentance, baptism, Holy Ghost and enduring) rather than wasting time on things few are able to understand, no matter how true they may be. For those ready, however, those deeper doctrines are waiting and can be laid open for the understanding even now.

By insisting that doctrines of the Church will and must change (such as with female priesthood) we may end up getting what we say we want, but we are only hurting ourselves in the long run by setting up our own golden calf to worship. We would do better to let God drive the bus, so to speak. One of the beautiful things about our God is that He is an unchangeable God, but He is flexible enough to teach changeable mankind at the level we can comprehend and slowly lead us, if we are willing, to greater mountains of knowledge.

Changes in the Church

I tried to write a real post, and was again unable to bring it out. But in ranging through the blogs, I came across this post at Mormon Matters which literally had me feeling a little lost and very lonely. I have struggled long and hard to try to bring my will into alignment with God's. I fought with everything I have, giving up material position and pride of place to try to reach the one goal of discipleship. I'm not saying I've been successful, only that I've done a lot of hard changing. The thought of the Church bending to accommodate those unwilling to go through this process scares me. It feels as though we are being told that in order to finish the building, we will have to use structurally unsound materials. I would rather have a smaller building which is earthquake-safe.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying every member of the Church should have to be perfect to belong, just that we should all be desiring that perfection and working on it. We should all be willing to stand as a witness, to take upon us the name of Christ, not change Christ's name to suit our stance.

As I continued reading, I came upon comment #11 by Thomas Parkin. That healed a great deal of my feelings. He is right: we have been warned of the cancer which will/may grow in the Church. But although the Church may be eaten from the inside, there is no reason why I should feel alone. There are many who feel as I do. To me, these are the true members. It is not a matter of your name being on the membership of the roles of the Church, it is a matter of Christ's name being written on your heart, just as it always has been. I, for one, will continue to work for that unity with the Divine and let the leadership worry about the grassroots changes.

Healing from Motherhood

Apparently, I'm at a phase where I simply enjoy others' posts, rather than writing my own. It's a rather pleasant phase. I don't have to think so much, just bask in the light of others' intelligence. It's sort of a mental vacation!

I would highly suggest reading this post by Spunky (aptly named) on motherhood. It is obvious in reading her story that she is truly exceptional. I love hearing stories such as this, about how people overcome their insecurities and challenges. I (over) obsess about things such as this that bring me into dissonance with God and myself, and have waged a long war against the issues I have had with life, the Church and myself. I am reluctant to dump too much of my story out here, because it is very personal and because I have been burned when sharing too much before, but I deeply admire Spunky for sharing this, particularly on a site which attracts so many who are similarly hurting. Thank you, Spunky!

Finding an Oasis of Understanding in the Desert of Criticism

I've tried to write a new post for a few days now, but I have been stopped. I think the Lord is taking literally my expressed wish to only post when moved upon by the Spirit. Perhaps I have not been as in tune as I need to be, perhaps it is only because I am sick and cranky, perhaps it is just not my time, but it is obvious the Spirit is whispering through others.

This post on truth-seeking by Clean Cut is exactly what I would have wanted to post here. (Sometimes I wish I were better at quotes. He uses them masterfully.) Go and read it and think about how to apply it. I believe it holds one of the keys to happiness. It is just too bad that so many people see "look[ing] for strength and goodness rather than weakness and failings" as an attempt to blindly follow. I don't think anything said in that post means you can't view Church history and policy with open eyes, just that there are two ways to be blind.