I have had reason to be very afraid, particularly in recent months. My father gave me a blessing, and in that blessing the Lord told me not to be afraid, that there was no reason to be afraid because He was with me. At the time, I was afraid, more afraid than I have ever been in my life. There have been many times since then that I have felt the paralyzing, cold fear, and I have had many reasons to think over the words of my blessing, and to struggle to overcome this fear. Well have I understood the words of David,
"Be merciful unto me, O God . . . . Mine enemies would daily swallow me up: for they be many that fight against me, O thou most High. [But] what time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me. Every day they wrest my words: all their thoughts are against me for evil. They gather themselves together, they hide themselves, they mark my steps, when they await for my soul. Shall they escape by iniquity? . . . When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back: this I know; for God is for me. . . . For thou hast delivered my soul from death: wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living?"
Well have I had cause to view my own powerlessness and unworthiness before God. I have had ample opportunity to repent and be humbled. Truly, wisdom and discretion have saved me, though I struggle daily against the desire to defend myself, to lash back.
It amazes me that the Lord God, so powerful and good, should comfort me. I know that despite the immediacy of my fears and problems to me, that they are truly small when compared to the sorrows of so many others. Yet, He finds time to succor me, to send me help and comfort.
How glorious my Savior! How worthy of praise and worship! There is nothing I would not do, should He ask it of me, because I know that He loves me and protects me, that He wishes only the best for me. How marvelous have been His gifts and comfort! How safe I can feel, knowing that even my suffering shall be turned for my good!
Sometimes it feels as if I might burst with the desire to show everyone what a marvelous God He truly is. How small the many concerns of mortal life become in light of His great peace. I hope and pray that I am found worthy to sit at His right hand and learn of Him and His ways. I would worship Him forever, and long for the power to show others of His children the truth of His glory—what it means to be glorious as He is glorious.
May I forget fear in the worship of Him, amen.