In the wake of a failed marriage and two of the most loving children I could ask for, I have had reason to think about love, what it is . . . and what it isn't. I have heard a great deal of rhetoric on love lately, not restricted to but certainly a part of one side of the debate on homosexual marriage.
The recent participation of many members of the Church, some of whom are my friends and acquaintances, in a Salt Lake City Gay Pride march has given me even more reason to think over this eternally debated and perplexing topic. While I sympathize with the efforts these members are trying to make, and also want to communicate somehow to those with a different ideological stance than mine that I care for them as people, though I fear for the consequences of their choices, I have some thoughts that will be uncomfortable for many.
I do not apologize for them, as they are based on experience and wisdom gained through a great deal of personal loss and sacrifice. Before you continue reading, I will remind you now that while disagreeing points of view are tolerated and even welcome on this blog, insults and other forms of denigration are not. I have many more important things going on in my life than your sensibilities, and while I generally try to be patient and understanding, I don't have the emotional resources or the time to deal with immaturity right now.
There are places in the internet for you, this is not one of them.
The argument that love is without judgment or condemnation is false. Increasingly, LDS members (Mormons) and other religious people buy into the diabolical argument that freedom of choice trumps consequence for choice. The most important principle, they argue, is that people choose whatever makes them happy. Others have no right to warn about consequence, or choose to no longer associate with someone who is making choices antithetical to their own. They ignore half of agency (accountability) in favor of the other half (choice) and forget that God's way includes both.
I will say this now. It doesn't make one iota of difference if every person on this earth stops warning about the consequence of choices which are against what the Lord has asked us to do. The consequences will be the same.
Jesus was not the anything-goes, comfortable sort of God that so many of you think He was. He judged, He condemned. He is the great Mediator and Judge of Israel. He never told a person in sin to do whatever made them comfortable. He invited them to forsake their sins and come to Him.
This has not changed, nor can it change.
Of all the friends I have gathered in my lifetime, those with the courage to tell me when I am wrong are more beloved to me than any. I have never LIKED that judgment when they delivered it, but it has never failed to bring me greater joy and understanding. I will love and support people who find themselves immersed in behavior which is not in alignment with heavenly principles, as I have been loved and supported by my friends. True love is the ability to say hard things because you care more about the person than about yourself.
Because I love them, I will tell those I cherish if I feel they are participating in behavior which will harm them. It is easy to be the kind of friend who never speaks up, never risks losing the love and friendship of another. It is much more difficult to be honest, to trust yourself and your friend enough to know that sharing your perspective and feelings will not mean the destruction of the friendship. I would hope that all my loved ones and friends would trust me and love me like that.
Like the Savior does, who said "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame . . . ." Revelations 3:19-21