I Expect Better from a Disciple of Christ

The fine line between calling out bad behavior in others and ridiculing them illuminates the key to Christian unity.

I recently read a very good article which brought to light some hidden agendas and techniques used by a particular group of people to inappropriately politically manipulate an institution to which they theoretically belong. I enjoyed the article, but as seems to happen so often, I became very concerned with some of the comments.

They mocked and ridiculed, rather than expressing charity and concern. And for some reason, I have a harder time with that than I do with people who disagree with me using poor tactics. In fact, just these kinds of concerns have distanced me from groups on BOTH sides of ideological divides who might otherwise be my allies.

A Call to Repentance: Pants

Okay, ENOUGH. Multiple times, I have been stopped from commenting in any way on those threads which are promoting this Wear Pants to Church day.

But here, on this, I feel empowered to speak.

If people want to wear pants to Church, if they want to co-opt the sacrament meeting for their own agenda, that is their prerogative. So long as they are not interfering with you actually partaking and blessing the sacrament, LET THEM WEAR PANTS. It is a total non-issue.

If you consider yourself a disciple of Christ, if you want to be faithful and exhibit His presence here on earth, if you want His light to shine from your countenance, please, PLEASE stop attacking the people of this movement!

Of course it isn't about pants. Of course the entire movement is a subtle trap, with no winners, only victims. Please don't add to it. Please let it go. It isn't important. It doesn't matter.

What does matter is you allowing your fear, discomfort, anger at the people of this movement to keep you from recognizing them as your Sisters and Brothers. I beg you, please pray for the Spirit to guide you. Please let Him into your hearts on this matter.

Because what you're doing isn't helping. It's only buying in to the Adversary's plan with all this. I can't beg you enough to cease from contention.

Read 3 Nephi 11 and D&C 10. Ponder them, amend your behavior after the pattern they teach. This is your opportunity to invite the Spirit and show forth the Love of Christ. Don't let it pass.

Faulty Blogchambers

J. Max Wilson presents an excellent analysis of online blogging dynamics, public agitation, and self-reinforcing online opinions. I think the principles he discusses apply to much more than just LDS agitation, as I've also seen the pattern replicated in political realms.

If Only the Church Would Change

It seems that many people, both members and not, believe the LDS Church should change in order to fit some agenda they have. Whether it is admitting fault in the pre-1978 Priesthood Ban, spending more time with apologetics, changing the wording of temple covenants or giving women the priesthood, there is a long, tired list of changes people believe they should make. The prevailing thought seems to be that if only the Brethren who are called to run the Church understood or were wise/smart/savvy/up-to-date/enlightened/etc. enough, the Church would be different and better. Sometimes it feels like one of those mix-and-match books where you can choose the issue and a deprecating adjective to make a new complaint.

At any rate, I was thinking about this and trying to figure out the root of the problem. I don't think the problem is really the priesthood, the patriarchy, or any of the things people like to complain about. I think the problem goes much deeper. Even were the prophet to snap his fingers and change everything tomorrow, there would still be something for such people to complain about. If homosexuality was accepted, it would be transgender. If women were given the priesthood, it would be that they don't have enough roles in it. A solution cannot be found by the Brethren conforming to popular opinion.

Furthermore, most of these things don't bother me, at least not to the degree they bother some. I wasn't really sure why this is. Some of them used to bother me much more than they do now, but although I never really tried to change my feelings on the issues, my feelings changed on their own. What was the difference?

As I thought about these things this morning, I felt that the root cause of much of these problems is a lack of true faith in God. (Let me establish, I'm making no judgment on individuals with issues, nor am I trying to disparage those issues, I'm just trying to examine the problem in general.) I don't mean a lack of belief that He exists, but a lack of true faith.

I have learned a lot about faith lately. It isn't about believing, it is about trusting. It is about taking that step into the chasm, even though you can't see the bridge under your feet. It is about falling into the chasm and being okay with that, because you know who you are and who God is. It's about standing in front of a furnace hot enough to boil bone and saying, "I know that God can save me, but if He does not, still I will follow Him." It is about saying "I am hurt that women don't have the priesthood. I hope that some day they will have the chance to lead in the Church the way men do, but even if they are eternally less than men in this way, still I will follow God. Still will I submit to His will as now understood through His prophets. Still will I obey." It is about saying "I think the Church was wrong to withhold the priesthood from blacks in the past. But I may be wrong. Either way, my opinion is not important, and my needs are in the hands of my Redeemer to do with as He will."

It is about taking your pain and letting it go.

A lady I know wanted more than anything to have an eternal family. She gave up her dream career, much of her pride and comfort for this dream. All of her effort went into attaining this goal. While pregnant with her fifth child, her husband, well regarded in the church, had an affair. After the baby's birth, he divorced her and moved his new girlfriend into the house they had lived in. Her dream was shattered. And yet, with her righteous desires lying crumbled around her feet, with five children to raise on her own and no hope of ever marrying again, she let go of that dream, turned it over to the Father's hands and simply served her children and the other children of God. I don't know if she is happy, or if she will ever gain her dream in this life. There is no solid doctrine promising her an eternal marriage after her death. But, she has done her best to follow the will of the Lord, and she trusts Him to take care of her needs.

"And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: and yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

Therefore take no thought, saying, "What shall we eat?" or, "What shall we drink?" or, "Wherewithal shall we be clothed?" [Or "How will I be healed?" or "When will I be equal?"] . . . . For your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

I am not free from this problem. Because of my recent life challenges, I have wasted too much time wishing things would change to conform to my dreams and thoughts of how things should be. I have "labored much in the Spirit" that I would be able to accept the dissolution of my righteous desires, and learn to let go of my needs and learn true charity for others. I am no different from those who long for the Church to conform to their desires. But I think perhaps the reason neither my life nor the Church will change to fit opinion, or do many of the things wanted of them is because God's people must be a people of faith. If everything in the Church (or my life) was perfect, there would be no reason for faith. And if the Brethren were smart/savvy/inspired/etc. enough to do what was wanted of them, there would be no room for humility and patience . . . or for charity.

Proposition 8: Into the Fire

I dislike this topic, mostly because I know that no matter what I say, people will be offended. There is really no way to talk about the topic of homosexuality without causing a fight. Luckily, I'm a very small blog in a very small corner, so I doubt there will be too much contention. All the same, I feel compelled to share some of my thoughts on the topic. My opinions here and anywhere on my blog in no way represent the stance of the Church or opinions of her leaders. They only reflect my own thoughts as I struggle to reconcile the points made.

Tax-free Status
The first thing I'd like to address is the argument that the Church has no place encouraging its members to support Proposition 8. From what I understand, based on IRS documentation (warning: this link opens a PDF), the Church is within its legal rights to conduct limited lobbying without losing its tax-free status. Also, I've heard a variation on this argument that claims a Church has no right to tell anyone how to behave, especially those who are not members of its organization. Obviously, under free speech, any organization can say anything so long as it's not threatening or damaging, with the exception of a tax-free organization not being allowed to tell people to vote for a specific candidate without losing status. Since Proposition 8 is non-partisan, it's a non-issue according to my understanding.

Polygamy
Another complaint I've heard is that the LDS Church is hypocritical when it opposes same-sex marriage because it practiced (and still practices in a sense) polygamy. (Since this argument really has little to do with homosexuality, it is only an attack on the character of the Church. Since it is often quoted, however, I will still discuss it.) These complaints generally misquote The Family: A Proclamation to the World by claiming the Church has stated that marriage is between one man and one woman. They say they contradict themselves in the doctrine of polygamy. There are two fallacies to this complaint.

First, the Proclamation says that marriage is between a man and a woman, not one man and one woman. The statement is misquoted to begin with.

Second, even if the statement did say what some claim it says, their interpretation shows a different understanding of polygamy than what I have understood. Although a man may marry multiple women, each of those marriages is complete and whole in and of itself. There is no eternal covenant between the women. Nothing that happens between the man and one wife affects the eternal marriage between him and another wife. It is not one large marriage, but a series of several marriages, each between one man and one woman.

Blacks & the Priesthood
This common comment states that because the Church was wrong about blacks holding the priesthood, they'll be wrong about same-gender marriage. Besides the obvious logical fallacy, it assumes that the Church was wrong. I don't believe they were, in the sense that the leaders should have behaved any way other than the way they did. I believe that God's purposes were fulfilled in the timing as well as the reality of the bestowal of the priesthood. Priesthood exclusivity has precedent in scripture. Not until modern days has it been extended to all worthy male members. (This is partially why it does not trouble me that women do not hold the priesthood.) Additionally, I believe that the perfect God I believe in can work with our imperfection. He knows our thoughts, and He knew the thoughts and intents of the hearts of the men who He called to lead His Church. He called them anyways. Therefore, I can only believe that for whatever reason, whether it be to teach and instruct or for some other reason, He wanted things to happen the way they happened. I trust that those leaders were doing the best they could to follow the Lord. That is why they were chosen and anointed to serve in His kingdom at the time and in the place they were.

Gays Were Born That Way
This argument claims that gays were born with homosexual urges. Because these desires are genetically influenced, they should be encouraged to act according to those desires. I cannot swallow this argument because I was born with genetically-demonstrated depression and anger. I have spent my entire life carving myself away from these tendencies, and allowing the Lord to prune them away. Not everything we are born with is good. Some are born with homicidal tendencies. Some are born with attraction to children, or other psychoses. I don't believe that this fact means that society has to allow them that behavior.

Paired with this argument is the nature argument, which says that Bonobos and other species demonstrate homosexuality in nature. Because it is natural, it should be allowed and even encouraged. Again, I fail to swallow this argument. There are many behaviors in the animal kingdom which I do not feel humans should emulate. (Warning: the two previous links may be disturbing to some.)

Agency
Also comes the argument that fighting against same-sex marriage violates the agency of those who wish to indulge in homosexuality. Obviously, no one's agency is being violated any more than it violates the agency of a mass murderer to be thrown in prison. This stems from a common desire to equate agency with lack of consequence.

Similar to this is the claim that fighting against same-sex marriage adds to suicide rates among LDS members with same-gender attraction. I happen to know by my own experience that suicide is a choice, and falls under the laws of agency. Fortunately, I don't have to judge how capable a person is to make the decision or how accountable they are. Although I do believe there are things that can be done to help someone contemplating suicide, in the end the act itself is only between the person and God.

Opposition is UnChristlike
Again, if a person truly believes that same-sex marriage is wrong, and that acting on same-sex attraction will harm the participants as well as those around them, they have a moral obligation to speak out against it. This obligation does not eradicate the obligation to love as Christ has loved. This is one of the delicate balances found so often in the Gospel. Those who have failed this have failed to be Christlike, indeed, but it is possible to love gays and oppose their behavior. I would imagine anyone with parents, siblings, or children who have hurt themselves by their own actions can understand this.

Reproduction (added from below conversation)
I have often heard the lack of homosexual reproduction compared to heterosexual couples who are infertile or too old to procreate. I feel that is also a logical fallacy. You cannot compare the rule of one instance to the exception of another. That infertile heterosexual couples exist is undeniable, but the general rule is that heterosexual couples can reproduce while homosexual ones cannot without going outside of the bonds of marriage (or resorting to sterile fertilization.) If a heterosexual couple cannot reproduce, it is because they are different from the norm. Any actions taken to help such a couple reproduce are attempts to align them with the common situation. The reasoning that homosexual couples are no different from heterosexual couples who do not or can not reproduce is therefore fallacious.

At any rate, these are the thoughts I have had so far. I would welcome courteous comments on them.

You Have No Idea What You are Doing

Those of you who preach contrary to the word of God, I have only this to say: you have no idea what you are doing. You sew your seeds of unrighteousness, thinking you are right. You tell people that parenthood is a trap, that life is about the individual and the needs of the one. You teach that whatever a person does is right for them, as long as they feel it is right. They can choose whether or not to have an abortion, they can determine how many children to have purely of their own will, they can leave family and home to pursue a self-fulfilling career, and that is right. You hide from them the consequences of their actions. You lead them into believing that life is a silver platter from which they can pluck only the foods they want and avoid any consequence for their choices. Your work brings disillusionment, pain, shattered lives and pure evil. What you teach is no better than rape, because it leaves minds and lives broken almost beyond all repair. You teach what you do because you think you have a right to do so. You think your tiny mind, with all its human faults, is somehow smarter and greater than the mind of God. You are wrong. You are so very wrong.

And the consequences for your actions are not limited to those deceived by your lies. No, innocent children, husbands and wives are damaged by your teachings. How many broken hearts have been broken not to humility before God, but to the darkest depths of self-hate because of the lies you have spun? How many men and women and children, real living people, have spent how many hours wishing they or their loved ones had never listened to you?

You have shown me that you don't have to say there is no Christ to be an antithesis to all that He is. Someday, oh ye Anti-Christ, someday you will have to face the fruits of your teachings. Someday you will have to answer to the pain you have caused in the lives of innocents, all in the name of your own intellect. Some day you will plead to avoid the consequences of what you have done, you will say, "I always knew that there was a God. But I was deceived. I said what I did because it made people happy. I taught what I did and many believed me, until even I believed that what I taught brought happiness," but it will be too late for you to have the curse removed because the curse is of your own doing. I feel so sorry for you, Anti-Christ, even as I rage at what you have done, helpless to stop your effects in my life even though I, personally, shut you out. I feel sorry for you because you will never understand real joy. You will never discover how to have pure happiness lifting you up even in the midst of your darkest time. You will never understand how to forgive.

I forgive you for what you have done to me and my family. I'm still hurt by it, but even that will pass in time.

Please stop. Please stop teaching all the things you have worked out in your own head and turn back to the scriptures and the prophets. What they teach may seem so restrictive, but once you accept those restrictions, entire worlds of joy and opportunity open to you that you will never find so long as you live in the congratulatory world of your own intellect. Please, please stop pushing your agendas on the weak and innocent. Please, please, please stop hurting yourself and your brothers and sisters. Humble yourself. Repent. For now, there is still time.

A Plague of Agendas

I'm a little concerned by some things I've read lately. Namely, that my daughter's future Young Women leaders might be pushing a feminist agenda. I'd be just as concerned were it a Republican agenda, or any agenda. The fact is, I don't like agendas. When you focus on one issue to the point of it interfering in supposedly unrelated areas of your life, and you are insisting that everyone else copy your behavior, that is the basis for cult-like behavior. I appreciate the irony that some people feel this can apply to the LDS Church and, to an extent, I agree with them. If you are unable to be friends with anyone but Mormons, for example, there is a problem. If you are unable to teach history without spouting your anti-religion babble, there is a problem. If you are unable to teach Young Women's without diverting from the gospel to push your feminist ideals, there is a problem.

Is nowhere safe?

What will I do if I find my daughter isn't being taught the gospel in Church?