Thursday, August 26, 2010

How Many Ways Can We Think of To Put Down Utah/the LDS Church?

Just in case you missed one. Here.

What other things can you think of that are SO MUCH WORSE in Utah?

I just hate the way Mormons grow their trees. Why so many treeless parks? Seriously! If they really were the true church, they'd have been contributing more to the ozone layer decades ago. Just goes to show how much that "revelation" is worth.

And Utah's enterprising LDS/Republican heritage has obviously led them to capitalize on the high demand for weed. They're so depressed and fat, obviously they need to self-medicate somehow!

16 comments :

  1. When you take paradise and turn it into Babylon and then incorrectly stick the moniker of Zion upon the whole thing in order to fool people into believing it is something it is not, you should not be surprised that Utah is the butt of jokes.

    Hugh Nibley had a lot to say about this in his collection of essays in Approaching Zion.

    Long live Missouri, the true Zion! Everything else is merely a stake holding up the Center Place.

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  2. Michael,

    Forgive me if I am naive or just slow, but I have lived in Utah for more than 20 years, but I don't quite follow your very broad accusation. Do you mind specifying:

    -whom has turned paradise into Babylon, and how was this done?

    -whom has tried to deceive as you suggest, and how has this deception occurred?

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  3. Here's one: I dropped my wallet on the bus a while back. A couple of days later, it came back with every penny and every piece of ID intact. These stupid Utahns! Don't they realize that they're setting me up to believe that the world may be kinder than it really is? They should have stolen my wallet so that I could have the opportunity to learn what the world is really like.

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  4. Ardis, LOL!

    I'm not a Utah native, but lived there only to attend school, and I moved from Utah years ago, but enjoy visiting as I try to temp BYU and U of U grads to leave to join my midwestern firm.

    When we visited this summer we were pleasantly amazed at the beauty of the Panguitch - Kanab corridor; I guess there's been a lot of rain this year.

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  5. Anonymous,

    I admit that my comment paints a broad stroke. I will also admit that Utah and the SL Valley are full of fish of many kinds. There is plentiful good amongst the bad.

    That being said, the main cultural stream that runs through the state tends to emphasize a fascination with "unique" and "unconventional" forms of monetary pursuit with a strange emphasis on an unbridled form of capitalism. This is evident in the MLM industry, the strange stratagems to profit off of gold or other "last days" fears, and the continuing gullibility of members to fall for Ponzi schemes.

    The reason I like Brother Nibley's essays is because they point out the inconsistencies in calling the SL Valley Zion whilst we put the moniker upon all things related to Babylon. Examples include the now defunct ZCMI, Zion Printing, Zion Securities, Zions Motel, Zion's Insurance, Zion's Credit Corp. and, of course, the granddaddy of them all, Zion's Bankcorp.

    The valley, ringed with the most beautiful mountains, is tinged with the smog of industry and numerous vehicles. The drive from Salt Lake Airport down to Provo forces one to be bombarded on all sides by commercial billboards, ugly signage, and visual pollution of the highest degree.

    The names of the valley's prominent egos who have been successful in the ways of Babylon are praised and held up high on signage touting their philanthropic endeavors - Ken Garff, Larry H. Miller and others too numerous to mention.

    Of all the places on the face of the earth where one would expect to find at least some compatibility with the aesthetics, beauty, principles, and goals of Zion, one is instead confronted with the nakedness, selfishness, and egoistic pursuit of pure capitalism and consumerism.

    Zion is pure, unselfish and built upon the economic laws of the Celestial Kingdom. It does not, and, indeed, cannot be mixed with Babylon. This is one of the great lies perpetuated by Satan. Moses 7 and Third Nephi tells of the beauty of creating a Zion.

    Zion is to be built in the original land of Adam and Eve, the land of Adam-Ondi-Ahman, the land of the first patriarchs of the human race before the flood of Noah, the land currently called Missouri. All other places where Latter-day Saints gather are merely stakes to this Center Place.

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  6. Anonymous,

    I admit that my comment paints a broad stroke. I will also admit that Utah and the SL Valley are full of fish of many kinds. There is plentiful good amongst the bad.

    That being said, the main cultural stream that runs through the state tends to emphasize a fascination with "unique" and "unconventional" forms of monetary pursuit with a strange emphasis on an unbridled form of capitalism. This is evident in the MLM industry, the strange stratagems to profit off of gold or other "last days" fears, and the continuing gullibility of members to fall for Ponzi schemes.

    The reason I like Brother Nibley's essays is because they point out the inconsistencies in calling the SL Valley Zion whilst we put the moniker upon all things related to Babylon. Examples include the now defunct ZCMI, Zion Printing, Zion Securities, Zions Motel, Zion's Insurance, Zion's Credit Corp. and, of course, the granddaddy of them all, Zion's Bankcorp.

    The valley, ringed with the most beautiful mountains, is tinged with the smog of industry and numerous vehicles. The drive from Salt Lake Airport down to Provo forces one to be bombarded on all sides by commercial billboards, ugly signage, and visual pollution of the highest degree.

    The names of the valley's prominent egos who have been successful in the ways of Babylon are praised and held up high on signage touting their philanthropic endeavors - Ken Garff, Larry H. Miller and others too numerous to mention.

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  7. Sorry about the double post. The blog site originally gave me an error code so I cut down the length and hit the submit button a second time.

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  8. Michael,

    Thanks for the explanation- I think I get it now. If you live in Utah, you should either use a horse and buggy, walk, or ride a bike everywhere to avoid polluting the air. Conventional forms of advertising, such as billboards, should never be used. (By the way, I'm not saying that they aren't there, but I have driven between Salt Lake and Utah County for many years, and I don't recall the Garff or Larry Miller signs that you describe as being so prolific.)

    I can't speculate regarding the frequent use of "Zion" in various business names, but it never occurred to me that there was anything sinister or malicious or destructive about this.

    The term "Zion," to me, refers more to a group's unity and purity than it does to a specific geographical location.

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  9. Anonymous,

    Your definition of Zion as one of purity or unity is only one aspect of it description. Zion encompasses a state of being but it also includes a very specific economic order and way of life that minimizes the harshness of capitalism while protecting wildlife and the environment as well as eliminating poverty. (It does not require the dramatic step of horse and buggy).

    Unfortunately, because of correlation and its attempts at simplification, the full cause of Zion is not communicated as clearly and effectively as it was in the past.

    I would strongly recommend Brother Nibley's essays in Approaching Zion. It can be purchased at any Deseret Book location and on the BYU campus. It is a treasure that should be read and pondered in every LDS home.

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  10. In my Michigan ward, a young sister bore her testimony of how rotten everything in Utah is. We had the last laugh when she married a young man from Utah and lives there now.

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  11. Don't you just love generalizations?

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  12. Utah Mormons always generalize.

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  13. Will someone please tell the person above who complained about the trees that Utah is not a rain forest. It is an arid, desert-like land where trees can take a lifetime to grow. But when they do grow, they tend to be pretty strong, which might explain why so many in my very non Utah ward who actually keep the ward together are from Utah.

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  14. Michael—Huh?

    To the last anonymous . . . please read the entire post before commenting. You'll look a great deal less foolish.

    Ardis & Syphax—LOL!

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  15. Calling your posters foolish? That's not very nice. Particularly when - if you'd bothered to read the entire comment that particular person left - he or she was COMPLIMENTING Utah.

    The post does have a point. Whenever we visit Utah it's like - "Uh, what do you want to do today?" "I dunno, shop?" COnsumerism is huge there. You can mock it all you want (as you can mock your posters all you want) but it is a point - Utahans love to consume.

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  16. Quimby! Good to see you again. I've been hoping you were doing well. How's your not-so-much-a-baby-anymore daughter doing?

    And my point is not that Utahns don't love to consume. It is that EVERYONE loves to consume, and I get awfully tired of everything unpleasant that happens in Utah being put on the shoulders of the Church. That smacks of a personal bone to pick with the Church, not any basis of real causality. Especially since the Church preaches 'til they're blue in the face about NOT spending, and have since long before I was born.

    And as for the anonymous who was "complimenting Utah", they were arguing against something which was pretty obvious sarcasm, and the post led into some sort of statement about Utahns keeping the ward together which made little sense to me, unless it was supposed to be a misplaced metaphor.

    Granted, it was not my most charitable reaction.

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